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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
“Anne Bonny and Mary Read were pirates, as renowned for their ruthlessness as for their gender, and during their short careers challenged the sailors’ adage that a woman’s presence on shipboard invites bad luck.”
Sculpture by Erik Christianson.
I’m not entirely sure that the statue really needed to have a tit out.
How dare women try to have nipples.
Actually I’ve seen this before and I can tell you— it’s because these women were bad ass pirates and when they killed someone they’d expose one or both breasts so that when their victim died, (s)he knew that they were killed by a woman.
ACTUALLY Anne Bonny purposely wore loose fitting clothes and displayed her breasts openly at all times during battle - mainly because men were distracted by them, and she took pleasure in killing said men while they were too busy staring at her breasts. Mary Read dressed mainly as a man (after posing as her deceased brother, Mark, for the entirety of her childhood) and both ladies cross-dressed from time to time, hopping between ships. They were known as the ‘fierce hell cats’ due to their ferocious tempers, and were key elements to Captain ‘Calico Jack’ Rackham’s crew - they were the only two known female pirates in the Golden Age of Caribbean piracy. IN FACT, when the ship was captured by the British Navy, Anne and Mary were the ONLY TWO pirates who fought while the males of the crew hid - they were all tried to be hung as pirates but Bonny and Read were both pregnant and were pardoned.
Calico Jack was a lover to Bonny, and as he was to be hung, Bonny’s final words to him were, “Had you fought like a man, you need not be hung like a dog.” Bonny and Read were possibly two of the most badass fucking pirates and they were FEMALE. The more you know.
And on top of all that, exposed breasts have a long and storied history of symbolism in art. They mean all sorts of things. The sculptor may have chosen to expose her left breast specifically to denote her courage–her heart is exposed–or to evoke comparison to Amazon warriors, who cut off their right breasts.
Titties are complex in art.
I love everything about this.
“I’d hit that.” “You… you don’t even know them though??”
“Oh come on, everyone has a list of celebrities they’d totally have sex with if they had a chance.” “Haha yeah ok” *internally* what
“Ya so like for the past few years I’ve felt zero attraction to people I wasn’t friends with first?? Lol what’s up with that”
Why did you have to have sex with them?? Couldn’t you just hold it?? Like pee??
“You’ll meet someone who makes you feel like that someday, don’t worry” “……sounds fake but ok”
“Sex is an important part of a relationship! Everyone has sexual needs!” “….sounds fake but ok”
“Dude that girl is so hot” “I know right?? Look at her fucking eyeliner. Goals. The fuck.” “No I meant like… look at that ass” “Are we looking at the same person are you really focussing on her ass look at how visually appealing her outfit is and dont you dare fuckin tell me that eyeliner isnt fierce as hell”
“Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things” *puzzle pieces vERY RAPIDLY FALLING INTO PLACE*
*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning* i could die a virgin and i would regret absolutely nothing
“What’s your ideal girl like?” “Uh… my best friend?” “Oh cute, you want your girlfriend to be the one who knows you best!” “No I meant I am literally only attracted to my best friend she is my ideal girl please help I am dying”
“We’ve been dating for six months and we still haven’t had sex!!” “Have you marathoned Star Wars together yet?” “Yeah we did that like two weeks ago” “Well what more do you want”
*thinking about an attractive woman* *dissecting my entire personality and sexuality to figure out why I’m attracted to her this time* is it the muscles. Oh my god is this a sex thing. Oh my god what the hell is this. Oh my god what the fuck is the wtf the fuck the fUCK
*Next day* Zarya could punch me in the face while eating me out and I’d let her but only because she’s a fictional character and therefore could literally never do that
*writing fanfic* ONLY CLOSE FRIENDS HAVE SEX BC ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE TO ME
(why is that tho. maybe i should look into that *doesnt look into it*)
“What do you find most attractive in a girl?” “Gotta love those strong emotional bonds” “No I meant like what’s a turn-on for you?” “DID I McFUCKING STUTTER”
*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning again* sexual attraction should be added to the cryptid wikia
“Yeah sex sounds like a great stress reliever and a nice way to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner(s)” “Well there’s more to it than that…” *The Arctic Monkey’s Do I Wanna Know starts playing in my head* “Haha ok buddy”
“There’s more to being ace than just not being interested in having sex or not feeling sexual attraction. In fact there’s a whole spectrum. You may even feel sexual attraction sometimes but still be ace. You can also be gay and ace at the same time.” “…bro.” “Also it’s totally normal.” *sobbing* “…bro. Bro there are words for it there’s an entire list oh my god-”
I’m very glad that movies like Pacific Rim and Fury Road and The Force Awakens are as colorful as they are, because I am really, really tired of desaturated movies.
I’m glad <insert movie> has blacks people because if it didn’t meet my arbitrary percentage standard I might just have to call someone a bigot
………you’re an ugly racist, but this is literally talking about the color palette the films used, not who is acting in them.
“I like the film aesthetics of this movie”
“Wow what is this some kind of SJW bullshit??”
“I like colours lads”
“FUCKING POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD”
it’s always so funny learning about the Great Depression in grade school cuz they don’t ever talk about how latinx and Hispanic people were lowkey deported to Mexico even if they weren’t Mexican and how the depression was literally twice as worse for black people who were the first fired and last hired. like educators always report these tragedies by how they impacted whites UNLESS you are in a class like AA studies or something.
This is the truth. The experiences of poc have been outright erased from history in US public education. The white experience is labeled as universal in order to cover up white crimes and to keep white kids ignorant so that we uphold white supremacy throughout our lives.
I am a gamer. I followed the call of Cthulhu and ran in the shadows with hackers and shamans. I traversed the ancient lands of Greyhawk, Faerun, and Eberron with companions new and old. I swung from an airship and buckled swash over London for the Kerberos Club. I threw dice and flipped cards and ground men into dust playing table-top wargames.
I don’t do that anymore.
Since July of 2015 fans of the game Malifaux have been attempting to overwhelm me with death and rape threats for no other reason than I am a woman who has opinions on the game. Wyrd Miniatures is silent on this matter and hangs up whenever anyone attempts to discuss the harassment. Given that a large number of threats identify the senders by name as Wyrd staff members, I do not find this surprising.
But that’s not what this article is about.
Worth the read
You know those little things that keep bread bags closed? Well, the internet would like to tell you about them. If you’re not doing anything too important right now, I think you should visit HORG (that’s the Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group) and explore a beautiful, obsessive, hilarious taxonomy of occlupanids.
Some of these must have a tiny , isolated reproducing population, because they’re looking rather in-bread.
Okay, you’re not wrong, but I have to know why you looked at this and thought of me. :D
@moonsugarhigh I feel like you’d like this?
I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been
The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”
my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”
okay I know that there are terrible terrible people out there but listen
I also know that there are people who stop and smile at tiny plants growing out of sidewalk cracks, people who laugh so loud they snort, people who compliment others randomly, people who take pictures of their friends because they love seeing their friends happy, people who ramble about things that they’re passionate about, people who blush and stutter, people who are kind, people who are warm, people who love and love and love and love.
more ridiculous things i’ve done for writing:
- weighted a grapefruit in my hands to see if i could justifiably describe something as “weighing as much as a grapefruit”
- done jumping jacks for 5 minutes straight so the memory of how exertion feels would be fresh in my mind
- googled images of butterscotch to see if “butterscotch” could be a hair colour
- casually stared at people at bus stops trying to figure out how i would hypothetically recreate their image in words
- written 7 different beginnings for a story to see which one i liked best
- gone to venice
- enthusiastically spoken dialogue aloud to myself to see how it sounds
- tried to read 3 books in one day
- experienced terrible things, reacting with “i can write about this”
- screamed incoherently at someone for turning on the tv while i was in the room, writing
- sat there perfectly still staring into space trying to imagine what getting a boner feels like
- “hey re-enact this scene with me”
- sat upside-down for ten minutes trying to get my brain to work
- squandered schoolwork and free time alike for years
- Googled and studied a range of sets of instructions for flat pack furniture to make sure my characters had the correct screwdrivers
Spent an hour researching pet chickens and how they show affection to make sure a chicken that’s in literally two paragraphs is behaving correctly.
Learned how one would go about buying a yak.
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)